SoulMate - film at 11

A friend of mine forwarded this movie trailer to me. Aside: I'm definitely not trying to promote the film, but I have some thoughts. Here's a basic synopsis:

Wiley’s fourth documentary, “Soulmate,” explores the personal challenges faced by African-American women experiencing prolonged singleness. The film looks at the national phenomenon, which has rendered 42.3% of all African-American women single according to recent United States Census Bureau figures, and reveals how many of these highly accomplished professional women have found both joy and purpose in their lives.

http://soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm

my thoughts:: I know I easily qualify to fall into the category of women she's describing above (well, 'cept I don't attend their church, where it appears a lot of these women were assembled). And yeah, it's rough out here - and yeah - brothers need to gather.

I dunno. I'm truly torn.

Part of me feels their pain. Literally. Like the sista who says she's devastated coming home to an empty house - 'cause I've felt that too. Literally. And the sista who is 52, unmarried (and, btw - gorgeous, not that that matters, I'm jes sayin') - who talks about being single & satisfied being a process - oh how I understand that one as well.

*sighs* Hows-n-ever....the DL thang, the Gay thing, the statistical %'s quoted, etc. - all seem very sensationalized.

And let me qualify that by saying that I've looked at the numbers as well (unmarried, divorce rates, etc in US black communities) census data, not the manipulated numbers published in some media outlets (note: you can see it too, just go to census.gov, and you can create your own queries to pull out the numbers you want to see). Ok yes, black women lag white women in getting married, across age ranges. And yes, black women also lag in getting married as they get older, this is true. And yes, these numbers have been increasing over the last few years. And yes, it is a problem. But, Black women have always lagged white women in marriage rates...and this has always increased as women get older (less likely to marry, etc.)

These phrases: "record numbers"? "Dramatically increasing"? Combine that with the soundtrack, the references to the DL, and you've got yourself a topic worthy of an Essence article: "How to find satisfaction in your singleness". Less documentary, more gospel play. Alls I'm saying is, I'm taking this as more for entertainment purposes, or to pull out some positive emotional responses to being an unmarried, older black woman, etc. All that drama embedded in this - I just pray (truly pray - don't take that one lightly, because I'm sincere in this) that my sistren don't take the "dramaticized" portions of this as facts, focus on the negative - and use this as another topic to throw at our men, and continue to write our men off.

I heard someone discussing this, and (as usual) the convo turned to their being "no good men out here" and "crossing the color line". Hmph - that's exactly what old boy was referring to. Now, I can't even blame him for ranting...